BlackSwan of Memphis

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Posts by BlackSwan of Memphis

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  20

  They've been comin' around the neighborhood

  by BlackSwan of Memphis in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  and they caught me at home a couple of times.. a couple of months ago, two nice, very young men (teens) came to the door.. my dog was barking, my older one was walking around without clothes and all i could think of was "i'm soooooooooooo not up for this today.".

  so, i said "yeah, uhm, i'm an apostate.

  " the big grins dissapeared and they walked away.. the other day, my bathroom plumbing is getting rerigged and there's a ton of stuff going on, i'm dripping wet from the pool and two woman come up my drive..

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  BlackSwan of Memphis

  I agree Memphis-

  People that acted crazy only reinforced my religous ideals. I never behave that way when they come a' knockin.

  Thank you Freud. I think in many ways some of my words and deeds since leaving have done more damage than good and have alienated myself even more so. There is much I regret, and I cannot undo those things. Once it is done and said it is done and said and cannot be retrieved. I do think that some of that has just reinforced in the minds of some that apostates are hateful and crazy. Being on the other side I do understand WHY this is the case, but there have been times that had I kept my mouth shut and taken a breath, I might have provided a better "witness" to what it means to leave the Organization behind. It's in the past, can't change it, but I can try to do better in the future.
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  20

  They've been comin' around the neighborhood

  by BlackSwan of Memphis in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  and they caught me at home a couple of times.. a couple of months ago, two nice, very young men (teens) came to the door.. my dog was barking, my older one was walking around without clothes and all i could think of was "i'm soooooooooooo not up for this today.".

  so, i said "yeah, uhm, i'm an apostate.

  " the big grins dissapeared and they walked away.. the other day, my bathroom plumbing is getting rerigged and there's a ton of stuff going on, i'm dripping wet from the pool and two woman come up my drive..

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  BlackSwan of Memphis

  They will not be getting in my apartment. I will make sure all they get is to waste their time ringing the door bell and knocking. If they do get in, I will just turn on the Christmas tree and lights and play some Christmas music as I pull out my Ouija board and Crisis of Conscience.

  Ya know I understand that. I do.
  Something that occurred to me recently though is this...
  I remember when I used to go out in service. People would do some very mean and rude things to me at times. Some times people would through out the cult word and go on and on about how evil the religion was. All it did, for me, was reinforce that I had the right religion. Because "look at how bad people are when they don't have Jah on their side." Typical dub dribble? Yes, of course. So, I think more and more lately I feel like why give them a reason to say anything? Why give them a real reason? Why give them the satisfaction? Perhaps that is the real reason I just don't say anything. For me, right now, where I'm at in this place and time....it's just not worth it.
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  33

  My Draft DA Letter - What do you think?

  by daniel-p in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  dear family and friends,.

  this is one of the hardest things ive ever written.

  please forgive me for the brevity, but its essential for the clarity that this most emotional topic deserves.

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  BlackSwan of Memphis

  I offer no specific reasons for this. Why? Because I have no interest in affecting the faith of others. We all need to make our own decisions, find our own way, and make our own stand. I have to do what I know is right. In general, because of inconsistency of teachings, falsity of claims, unconscionable policy regarding child abuse, and repeated reversals of doctrine, I can no longer place my faith in this religion.

  cheers to that Daniel.
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  14

  Any computer savvy folks out there?

  by BlackSwan of Memphis in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey there people.. i have a flash project that i could use help with.. i don't own a flash editor, like say uhm flash .

  i have a file which needs to be edited.

  if anyone can help send me a pm.. i anxiously, and hopefully await help.. thx.

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  BlackSwan of Memphis

  And what site is this???

  WTF am I missing?

  www.unspokenlove.com

  There's an asl game on there. We're in the uber slow process of reconstructing the site due to the fact that we realllllly need to LOL.

  forward? Please?

  the right one or the wrong one?

  Rats!! dangit lol its the right one. I already got it decompiled.

  TY! Apparently I need to get rid of the flowers. I don't know what the flash box contains in itself. I can't tell off of my site files what is flash and what is not.
• 
  20

  They've been comin' around the neighborhood

  by BlackSwan of Memphis in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  and they caught me at home a couple of times.. a couple of months ago, two nice, very young men (teens) came to the door.. my dog was barking, my older one was walking around without clothes and all i could think of was "i'm soooooooooooo not up for this today.".

  so, i said "yeah, uhm, i'm an apostate.

  " the big grins dissapeared and they walked away.. the other day, my bathroom plumbing is getting rerigged and there's a ton of stuff going on, i'm dripping wet from the pool and two woman come up my drive..

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  BlackSwan of Memphis

  Pick your battles.....You're right.

  Good girl.

  Hubert

  Thanks :)
• 
  14

  Any computer savvy folks out there?

  by BlackSwan of Memphis in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey there people.. i have a flash project that i could use help with.. i don't own a flash editor, like say uhm flash .

  i have a file which needs to be edited.

  if anyone can help send me a pm.. i anxiously, and hopefully await help.. thx.

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  BlackSwan of Memphis

  I have played that flash game on your site before BS. It was really fun lol.

  LOL thanks I was playing it the other day as a refresher and damnit got x wrong. Ugh, lol.

  Ok, I sent the file. At least I hope it was the right file. It Should be the plane (the plane, the plane!) soaring across the grassy hills.

  let me know what you see! Sheesh, hopefully it wasn't that other video I made.....hahahahhahaha jk
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  40

  Hi everyone! im also a newbie here.

  by dhand in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi everyone, thought it was time to say hi after nearly a year lurking on this site!!

  abit about me... i was born into the jw's and have been baptised for about 15yrs and was appointed as an ms about a year ago.

  i have been a die hard jw for the last few years, but because of the arrogant and unloving attitude of certain 'spirit appointed' men within the cong and circuit i began to wounder if what i had really was 'the truth' and caused me to do some digging on some of the fundamental teachings.

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  BlackSwan of Memphis

  Welcome to the board.
• 
  20

  They've been comin' around the neighborhood

  by BlackSwan of Memphis in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  and they caught me at home a couple of times.. a couple of months ago, two nice, very young men (teens) came to the door.. my dog was barking, my older one was walking around without clothes and all i could think of was "i'm soooooooooooo not up for this today.".

  so, i said "yeah, uhm, i'm an apostate.

  " the big grins dissapeared and they walked away.. the other day, my bathroom plumbing is getting rerigged and there's a ton of stuff going on, i'm dripping wet from the pool and two woman come up my drive..

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  BlackSwan of Memphis

  Depending on if this is the case, you should have added..."But they shun me now that I left".

  Hubert

  Ya know...I had a fleeting though of it. But I bit my tongue. Call me a sucker for sweet faces, but looking at her I knew that the problems in my family and between me and my mom are more complicated than the religion itself and spewing it all out wouldn't have done much more than given me a pause to vent.

  It just wasn't the time.
• 
  14

  Any computer savvy folks out there?

  by BlackSwan of Memphis in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey there people.. i have a flash project that i could use help with.. i don't own a flash editor, like say uhm flash .

  i have a file which needs to be edited.

  if anyone can help send me a pm.. i anxiously, and hopefully await help.. thx.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  BlackSwan of Memphis

  Priest: thx tho

  This file is driving me up a wall. It's part of my website and I have one person (who also has posted here in times past) who is helping me with rebuilding it, but neither of us are flash savvy. I've spent hours trying to figure out what I can use to edit it without taking the dive and purchasing flash from adobe. That baby is like $600!! Needless to say, I don't have that much.

  I must say I suspect that one of these days I may very well have to close my eyes and just do it.
• 
  20

  They've been comin' around the neighborhood

  by BlackSwan of Memphis in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  and they caught me at home a couple of times.. a couple of months ago, two nice, very young men (teens) came to the door.. my dog was barking, my older one was walking around without clothes and all i could think of was "i'm soooooooooooo not up for this today.".

  so, i said "yeah, uhm, i'm an apostate.

  " the big grins dissapeared and they walked away.. the other day, my bathroom plumbing is getting rerigged and there's a ton of stuff going on, i'm dripping wet from the pool and two woman come up my drive..

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  BlackSwan of Memphis

  And they caught me at home a couple of times.

  A couple of months ago, two nice, very young men (teens) came to the door.

  My dog was barking, my older one was walking around without clothes and all I could think of was "I'm soooooooooooo not up for this today."

  So, I said "Yeah, uhm, I'm an apostate." The big grins dissapeared and they walked away.

  The other day, my bathroom plumbing is getting rerigged and there's a ton of stuff going on, I'm dripping wet from the pool and two woman come up my drive.

  "YooHoo!!! Excuse me!" (Here we go) And then she did the spiel. She had to be in her mid to late 70's. I listened politely, remembering what it was like to be on the other side of this. A big grin on my face.

  When she ended I said "Yeah, uhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I'm pretty familiar with the teachings of the JW's and I really don't agree with them. But uhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm good luck right?" (my neighborhood is pretty familiar with what has happened with me) She said "OH ok......well what's your name sweety?" I gave it to her. She started to walk away, I called out to ask her what hall she is from. A way different hall then I went to. She asked if I "had family in the truth?" I muffled a giggle "UHmmmmmmmm yes, I have family that are jw's."

  I think I'm getting soft in my old age.